Dreaming Transformation

In a lucid dream, an unseen guide asked if I wished to experience death. I checked with myself and decided yes, this was an experience which I wished to know. I prepared myself by relaxing deeply. Soon I felt my heart slow down and my body temperature lower. It was almost as if I became the observer to my own dying. Then just before what seemed a critical moment of releasing my consciousness, I became concerned that my heart wouldn’t start again, so I pulled back. My return was slow. I felt guided back through a long upward tunnel. Along the path, an enormous glowing light suffused me.

Then I surrendered once again. My heart slowed down, my body temperature lowered. Physically, my body seemed to become more and more dense. There was a sense of allowing, of surrendering. An enormous force field of electricity vertically penetrated that which I had known as my body. My mind registered surprise. And then my mind too was gone. For a time, there was a witnessing of the burning up of the matter that had been the body in the electrical force field. Then the witness too was gone. What was left was Awareness. Vastness. Compassion. And this enormous electrical field. Yellow, blue, red, white, and green dotted lines of light flashed amidst an on-going energy field. The witness self returned for a moment. I experienced a deep sense of awe, and then again that self left. I wasn’t witnessing this experience. This was the Vastness.

After a while, I fell into a deep sleep. Then I was awakened a third time. The experience repeated itself. My heart slowed down, my body temperature lowered, and my body felt dense. Again an enormous electrical force was present. It burned through the matter, though there was no physical sensation. What remained after the burning was peace. Compassion. Awareness. And then no experience. All was vastness.

– Roma Hammel, Dark Grace, 2000

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